Parents negotiating custody arrangements often focus primarily on their division of parenting time. They may also try to address the need to divide decision-making authority. The more generic and less detailed a parenting plan is, the more likely parents are to butt heads with one another in the future.
In many cases, the entire family could benefit from the parents proactively addressing potential sources of conflict. There are certain parenting decisions that most parents eventually have to make on behalf of their children, and those decisions may lead to conflict between the parents. Addressing all three of the concerns outlined below can help limit the likelihood of a co-parenting conflict later.
Medical care standards
Particularly when parents belong to traditional religions, they may have strong beliefs about certain types of medical treatment. Parents may either need to agree to give one parent the final decision-making authority on medical matters. Otherwise, they may need to outline what they believe is appropriate care and what is unacceptable. Having certain standards in place for contentious decisions like whether a child sees a therapist and what immunizations they receive can prevent disputes from arising later.
Screen time rules
Technology has become a stumbling block for many parents who share custody. They may disagree about how old a child should be before they have a cell phone, whether social media is appropriate for high school students and even how much screen time a preschooler should have. Parents may want to learn about what medical professionals recommend and then establish their own standards. Keeping those rules consistent at both houses makes it easier for the children to comply. It also diminishes the likelihood of the children playing the parents off one another in an attempt at manipulation for personal gain.
Educational expectations
Some parents want to continue homeschooling their children even after they divorce. Others may have agreed long ago to enroll their children in private school once they reach a certain age. Beyond that, parents may need to agree on what grades their children need to achieve and what, if any, limitations they want to impose on extracurricular activities. Establishing shared expectations makes it easier for children to meet those standards. When parents agree on educational expectations, their children may flourish in a structured academic environment.
Addressing likely sources of conflict proactively can make it easier for parents to adjust to a shared custody arrangement. Parents may also need to ensure that they seek legal decision-making authority so that they can take action if significant disputes about parenting cannot be resolved or arise down the road.